YOU SOUND LIKE YOU ARE EXCITED ABOUT YOUR CAMPING TRIP.
I AM.
IT'S NICE TO OCCASIONALLY GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HERE.
AND IT'S NICE TO OCCASIONALLY HAVE YOU THE HELL AWAY.
WELL,
IF I WERE TO BELIEVE THE MANY VOICES DRONING ON IN MY HEAD RIGHT NOW,
I GUESS IT'S TIME FOR THE ANNUAL
"CHRIS BECOMES FATHERLESS BIG WEEKEND BASH BLOWOUT," HUH?
JEEZ, I WAS HOPING TO AVOID THIS FOR ONCE.
GLADYS, YOU HOLD HIM DOWN. I'LL MAKE A BREAK FOR THE CAR.
NO, FATHER, FATHER, THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY.
I'LL... I'LL JUST STAY RIGHT HERE,
AND DROWN MY SORROWS
IN A HEAPING, NUTRITIOUS GLASS OF OVALTINE.
RICH, CHOCOLATIE, FISHIE, OVALTINE.
JEEZ, WE GO THROUGH THIS SAME THING EVERY YEAR.
AND EVERY YEAR IT GETS WORSE.
CHRIS, IT'S LIKE I'VE ALWAYS PROMISED YOU,
WHEN YOU'RE A LITTLE OLDER YOU CAN GO WITH ME.
BUT FOR NOW I JUST HATE HAVING TO TONE DOWN MY LANGUAGE.
BUT, DAD, COME ON, I'M 30 YEARS OLD.
YOU KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO MIND YOUR P'S AND Q'S AROUND ME,
YOU OLD SON OF A SEA COOKIE.
COME ON, IT'S ALWAYS BEEN MY DREAM TO GO WITH YOU.
IT WAS ALWAYS MY DREAM TO BE BORN STERILE.
BUT LIFE TENDS TO STINK LIKE THAT.
OK. ALL RIGHT. I CAN SEE THAT YOU WANNA BARGAIN TOUGH. FINE.
I'LL MAKE THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE.
I PROMISE I SHALL NOT BE A PAIN IN THE BUTT.
CHRIS, I DON'T WANT TO SEND YOU INTO SUGAR SHOCK,
BUT FOR YOU THAT'S JUST NOT POSSIBLE.
FRED, MAYBE A WEEKEND IN THE WOODS
MIGHT HELP YOU TWO TO FINALLY BOND,
AND I'VE NEVER HAD A WEEKEND AWAY FROM CHRIS.
IT'S NOT FAIR, IT'S JUST NOT FAIR.
ALL RIGHT, WOMAN.
BUT IF YOU RUIN MY WEEKEND, I'LL KILL YOU.
OH, THANK YOU DAD. THANKS, AND YOU ARE NOT GONNA REGRET THIS EITHER.
HEY, LISTEN, CAN LARRY COME ALONG?
HE JUST HAPPENS TO BE STANDING RIGHT OUTSIDE OUR KITCHEN DOOR HERE.
WELL,
I GUESS IT'S PAYBACK FOR KILLING A GUY IN ANOTHER LIFE.
¶[Stand by R. E. M playing]
[bicycle bell ringing]
¶ STAND IN THE PLACE WHERE YOU LIVE ¶
¶ NOW FACE NORTH
¶ THINK ABOUT DIRECTION
¶ WONDER WHY YOU HAVEN'T
¶ NOW STAND IN THE PLACE WHERE YOU WORK ¶
¶ NOW FACE WEST
¶ THINK ABOUT THE PLACE WHERE YOU LIVE ¶
¶ WONDER WHY YOU HAVEN'T
¶ STAND IN THE PLACE WHERE YOU LIVE ¶
¶ NOW FACE NORTH
¶ THINK ABOUT DIRECTION
¶ WONDER WHY YOU HAVEN'T BEFORE ¶
¶ NOW STAND IN THE PLACE WHERE YOU WORK ¶
¶ NOW FACE WEST
¶ THINK ABOUT THE PLACE WHERE YOU LIVE ¶
¶ WONDER WHY YOU HAVEN'T BEFORE ¶
¶ STAND IN THE PLACE WHERE YOU ARE ¶
¶ SO STAND
[leaves rustling]
COME ON, YOU GIRLS, MOVE IT.
STOP STEPPING ON MY HEELS.
I DIDN'T, IT WAS A GROUNDHOG.
YOU FILTHY LIAR.
EVERYBODY KNOWS GROUNDHOGS HAVE BEEN EXTINCT FOR MILLIONS OF YEARS.
DO I HAVE TO SEPARATE THE TWO OF YOU AGAIN?
HE STARTED IT.
ALL RIGHT, I GUESS IT'S TIME WE GO OVER THE RULE ONCE MORE.
CHRIS, WHAT IS THE RULE?
SHUT THE HELL UP.
LARRY'S LOOKING AT ME FUNNY.
I AM NOT. AND HE'S LAUGHING AT MY PANTS.
CAN I INTEREST THE TWO OF YOU IN A MURDER-SUICIDE PACT?
[chuckling] OH, DADDY.
YOU COULD ALWAYS DIFFUSE A TENSE SITUATION WITH ONE OF YOUR WITTY JABS.
NOW DESPITE LARRY'S INFANTILE CHILDISH BEHAVIOR,
WE'RE ACTUALLY HAVING A GOOD TIME, AREN'T WE?
YEAH, I GUESS THE HIGHLIGHT WAS WHEN YOU GOT SPRAYED BY THAT SKUNK.
THERE WAS NO SKUNK.
LOVELY.
OH, JEEZ.
OH, MY.
[grunting]
YOU THINK MAYBE, OW, OOH, WE COULD STOP AND REST AWHILE?
I AM EXHAUSTED.
WE JUST RESTED 5 MINUTES AGO.
OH DAD, DON'T WORRY.
WE'LL BE BACK ON THE TRAIL IN NO MORE THAN 45 MINUTES. OW.
NOW, AT THIS POINT WHAT I NEED
IS A VOLUNTEER TO DELICATELY REMOVE MY MOIST SHOES AND SOCKS
AND GIVE ME THE FOOT RUB TO END ALL FOOT RUBS.
WHO'S IT GONNA BE?
IF IT WOULD SAVE YOUR LIFE, I WOULDN'T TOUCH YOUR FEET.
YEAH, MASSAGE YOUR OWN FEET.
EW, ARE YOU NUTS? I WOULDN'T GO NEAR 'EM.
YOU KNOW THIS IS REALLY GREAT, MR. PETERSON.
MY DAD NEVER TOOK ME CAMPING. HE WAS ALWAYS TOO BUSY TO DO ANYTHING WITH US.
I GUESS THAT'S WHY I SPEND SO MUCH TIME WITH MY OWN KIDS.
LARRY, IF YOU EVER GET THE URGE TO OPEN UP TO ME,
CORK IT, OK?
YOU KNOW, I THINK NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME FOR ME TO PRACTICE MY GOOSE CALLS.
[clearing throat] HERE, GOOSE.
[barking]
HERE, GOOSIE, GOOSIE.
DAMN.
YOU KNOW, I LOST MY WATCH ABOUT 2 MILES BACK.
WHY DON'T YOU TWO GUYS GO BACK AND GET IT FOR ME.
WELL, THAT'S THE THIRD TIME TODAY THAT YOU'VE LOST IT, MR. PETERSON.
WHAT CAN I TELL YOU, I GOT THE GREASIEST WRISTS IN NORTH AMERICA.
NOW BLOW.
ISN'T HE DARLING?
[laughing]
HE'S SO OUT OF HIS ELEMENT HERE.
AND YOU WANTED TO GO ALONE.
YET YOU NEED US SO.
LIKE A BABY NEEDS HIS LITTER BOX.
NOW YOU STAY RIGHT HERE, YOU KNOW HOW EASILY YOU GET LOST.
NOT EASY ENOUGH.
ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE GONNA BE OK ALL BY YOURSELF AGAIN TODAY?
GET OUT OF MY FACE.
COME ON, LARRY, LET'S GO. WE WANT TO GET BACK BEFORE IT GETS DARK
'CAUSE THESE WOODS ARE FULL OF SAND PEOPLE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THOSE TWO IDIOTS KEEP FINDING ME.
WELL,
THIS TIME I'LL JUST COVER MY TRACKS.
SWING THROUGH THE TREES IF I HAVE TO.
[birds chirping]
FACE IT, CHRIS, WE'RE NEVER GONNA FIND YOUR DAD.
IT ALMOST SEEMS AS THOUGH HIS TRAIL HAS BEEN DELIBERATELY COVERED UP.
DO YOU THINK THE SAND PEOPLE GOT HIM?
THERE AREN'T ANY SAND PEOPLE, YOU CEMENT HEAD.
YOUR DAD INTENTIONALLY LOST US.
WAIT A SECOND HERE.
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT MY OWN FLESH AND MUCUS HERE?
I'M SORRY. I SINCERELY DOUBT THAT.
MAYBE HE SAW A COLORFUL BUTTERFLY AND CHEERFULLY CHASED AFTER IT.
WELL, LUCKILY I AM AN EXPERT TRACKER, SO...
CHRIS, WE'VE PASSED THIS SAME TREE 4 TIMES.
LARRY, I'M NOT GONNA BE DRAGGED INTO THAT SAME ARGUMENT AGAIN, OK?
IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE PIXIE AND DIXIE RUNNING AROUND
THE SAME COUCH AND END TABLE OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
IT'S JUST THAT CERTAIN TREES LOOK SIMILAR.
THAT'S WHY THE LAST TIME THAT WE PASSED THIS TREE, I CARVED OUR NAMES IN IT.
WELL, LARRY, THAT DOESN'T PROVE ANYTHING.
I MEAN, THERE COULD BE THOUSANDS OF CHRIS AND LARRYS
RUNNING AROUND HERE CARVING UP TREES.
IF ONLY MY PARENTS HAD LET ME CHANGE MY NAME TO COCO.
CHRIS, IT'S THE SAME TREE, WE'RE LOST.
[sighing] ALL RIGHT, LARRY.
TO PROVE IT'S NOT THE SAME TREE,
I'LL SUBJECT IT TO A RIGOROUS SCIENTIFIC ANALYSIS, OK?
[sighing]
[birds chirping]
HMM.
OK, WELL, UM,
IT'S BECOMING QUITE OBVIOUS TO ME
THAT SOME ANIMAL CONSIDERS THIS TREE HIS TERRITORY.
I'M STARTING TO GET HUNGRY. DID YOU PACK ANY FOOD?
BECAUSE ALL I HAVE IS AN ASSORTMENT OF SWEATERS.
DID I PACK ANY FOOD? JEEZ.
DID I PACK ANY FOOD?
I DON'T KNOW. LET'S TAKE A LOOK.
OK, LET'S SEE HERE.
OK, AH,
ONE WOMAN'S SHOE,
AND, OH, A CAN OF SHOE POLISH.
OH, HERE'S MY DESERT ISLAND COLLECTION OF 45s.
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A LOOK AT THOSE,
THERE MIGHT BE SOME FUN ONES IN THERE.
AND, UH, OH, THERE'S AN EXTENSION CORD.
AND THEN, LET'S SEE,
1, 2, 3 STAPLERS,
AND THEN JUST SOME USELESS STUFF.
IT'S ALL USELESS. WHY DID YOU PACK THIS JUNK?
BECAUSE IN CASE THE WORLD ENDS WHILE WE'RE FROLICKING UP HERE,
WE'LL NEED THIS STUFF TO REBUILD SOCIETY.
THAT MY FRIEND, IS CALLED "THINKING AHEAD."
[birds chirping]
OH JEEZ, I ALMOST FORGOT, AH.
MY LUCKY CAN OF SOUP.
I ALWAYS CARRY THIS IN MY PANTS WHEREVER I GO IN CASE A SITUATION LIKE THIS ARISES.
WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO OPEN IT WITH.
LARRY, DON'T BE RIDICULOUS. WE CAN'T OPEN THIS YET.
WE HAVE TO SAVE IT UNTIL WE'RE TOTALLY AND ABSOLUTELY DESPERATE.
SAY LIKE IN ANOTHER 5 MINUTES OR SO.
I KNEW THIS TRIP WAS GONNA BE A DISASTER.
LOOK, EVEN IN THE WORST CASE SCENARIO,
I.E., WE'RE LOST OUT HERE IN THE GOD FORSAKEN WILDERNESS FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG,
I'M SURE THAT MY OVERPROTECTIVE FATHER
IS FRANTICALLY LOOKING FOR US RIGHT AT THIS VERY MOMENT.
¶[whistling]
[grunting]
JEEZ,
YOU'D THINK IF THEY CAN PUT A HORSE ON THE MOON,
THEY COULD COME UP WITH A CAN YOU COULD OPEN BY BASHING AGAINST A ROCK.
I'M REALLY HUNGRY, CHRIS.
I FEEL WEAK.
ALL RIGHT, LARRY, RELAX, RELAX. LET ME SEE.
WELL, ACCORDING TO MY SURVIVAL BOOK
THAT I GLANCED THROUGH ONCE WHEN I WAS A KID,
THERE LITERALLY SHOULD BE FOOD ALL AROUND US HERE.
(Larry) WHERE?
UH, JEEZ, AH, HOW ABOUT THIS?
I AM NOT GOING TO EAT DIRT.
WELL, LARRY, THIS IS NATURE'S PERFECT FOOD.
IT'S FULL OF MINERALS AND VITAMINS AND FIBER.
LIKE IRON AND, AH, STYROFOAM.
NOT TO MENTION TRACE ELEMENTS OF MERCURY.
HMM.
IT'S REALLY NOT BAD.
IT KIND OF TASTES LIKE CHICKEN.
BEATS STORE-BOUGHT DIRT ANY DAY.
HMM, HMM.
UM. OH.
SEED.
[birds chirping]
[sighing]
HMM, UM.
HMM.
HERE, LARRY, TRY A STICK.
IT'S AN OLD NAVAJO SNACK TREAT DATING BACK TO THE EARLY 21ST CENTURY.
IT'S DELICIOUS. IT'S... IT'S WHAT THE CLARK BAR WAS BASED ON.
I HAVE TO GET SOMETHING REAL TO EAT.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU.
AFTER I'VE SLAVED OVER THE TOPSOIL...
HONESTLY, WITH YOU, SOMETIMES I DON'T KNOW WHY I BOTHER.
LOOK, CHRIS.
OVER THERE.
THERE'S SOME BERRIES.
[birds chirping]
AH.
LARRY, I... I HAVE KIND OF A BAD FEELING ABOUT THESE BERRIES.
WHAT IF THEY'RE TEETH STAINERS?
WHO CARES?
AH, I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.
[birds chirping]
WELL,
THEY'RE PROBABLY COLD, FRIGHTENED AND HUNGRY BY NOW.
I GUESS LEGALLY I GOT TO GO FIND THEM.
[birds chirping]
MY BIGGEST FEAR, LARRY, IS THAT MY DAD IS HIDING ON THE MOON.
THAT'S RIDICULOUS. THE MOON MUST BE A 100 MILES FROM HERE.
DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT, IDIOT?
I'M OF COURSE ASSUMING THAT FIRST HE FELL
INTO A TIME-SPACE PORTAL.
HEY, CHRIS, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HEAD?
NOTHING.
HEY,
WHY THE LONG FACE?
UH-OH, SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH THESE BERRIES.
WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?
BECAUSE THEY'RE MESSING UP OUR VISION.
MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T EAT ANY MORE.
DID YOU JUST CALL ME A WHORE?
NO.
ARE YOU INSINUATING THAT I'M NOT GOOD LOOKING ENOUGH TO BE A FLOOR?
YOU BANANA HEAD.
THAT'S IT.
THIS IS MY SIDE OF THE WORLD.
UNTIL YOU FEEL LIKE BEING CIVILIZED, STAY ON YOUR OWN SIDE.
JEEZ, I'M SO SCARED.
I'M SO FRIGHTENED.
THE LAST THING I'D EVER WANT TO DO IS TOUCH YOUR SIDE OF THE WORLD.
BINK.
FOR THE SAKE OF OUR FRIENDSHIP, I'M GOING TO PRETEND THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.
LIKE HELL, I WILL.
LARRY, YOU'RE PLAYING WITH FIRE.
[Chris gasping]
(Chris) US GIANT OCTOPUSES HAVE A HABIT
OF SQUIRTING POISON WHEN WE THINK WE'RE BEING ATTACKED BY UNDERWATER POODLES.
(Larry) ARE YOU COMPLETELY OUT OF YOUR MIND?
IF YOU WEREN'T 50 FEET TALL, I'D PUNCH YOU IN YOUR BOSOM.
(Fred) LARRY. SHH. CHRIS. LARRY.
SOMEONE'S HUNTING FOR US.
WHERE ARE YOU IDIOTS?
AND HIS OPINION OF US IS LOW.
[birds chirping]
JEEZ, WHERE IS THAT BOY?
IF HE FALLS INTO A GORGE, HIS MOTHER WILL MAKE MY LIFE HELL FOR HOURS.
IF SOMETHING DID HAPPEN TO HIM,
EVERY SECOND COUNTS.
NO TIME TO SCREW AROUND.
DID YOU HEAR THAT? HE'S HEAVILY ARMED.
OOH, AH, AH. I'VE BEEN HIT.
[shrieking] I'VE BEEN HIT.
DON'T, DON'T. SAVE YOURSELF, SAVE YOURSELF.
I DON'T KNOW NOTHING ABOUT BIRTHING NO BABY.
LOOK, THERE HE IS.
OH, WAIT. NO, I RECOGNIZE HIM.
THAT'S MY GIANT TALKING PET HAMSTER, PRESIDENT ROOSEVELT.
WAIT.
NO.
THAT'S NOT HIM, THAT'S... THAT'S MY FATHER.
WHY IS HE HUNTING FOR US?
(Fred) ALL RIGHT, WOMAN.
BUT IF YOU RUIN MY WEEKEND,
I'LL KILL YOU.
I'LL TERMINATE YOU WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE.
I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN LIKE A DOG WITH LOVE HANDLES.
I'LL FILL YOUR FLANK WITH A LEAD RABIES SHOT.
THAT'S NICE DEAR.
MAKE SURE HE SUFFERS.
OH, OH, MY GOD.
THIS IS WHY HE'S BEEN FATTENING ME UP ALL THESE YEARS.
I'M HIS ULTIMATE TROPHY.
HUH.
IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW.
HIM THREATENING TO KILL ME,
HIS... HIS TALK OF MURDER-SUICIDE PACTS,
AND HIS HABIT OF CHASING ME AROUND THE HOUSE WITH A POWER DRILL.
WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY, LARRY,
IS THAT WE'VE GOT TO KILL HIM FIRST.
[birds chirping]
UH, THIS IS CHRIS' LUCKY CAN OF SOUP.
AND JUDGING BY THE WAY IT'S BASHED IN,
THE LUGHEAD FORGOT HIS CAN OPENER AGAIN.
WHAT WENT WRONG?
JEEZ, I DON'T KNOW.
HUH, I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE TIED THE END OF THIS STRING TO A TREE OR SOMETHING.
DAMN, I CURSE MYSELF FOR NOT WATCHING CARTOONS MORE CLOSELY.
WHAT DO WE USE FOR BAIT NOW? HE STOLE OUR SILVER ROCK.
HE'S TOYING WITH US, LARRY.
IT'S TIME TO TEACH HIM THAT WE'RE DONE PLAYING GAMES.
GREAT, CHRIS. REMEMBER,
WHEN YOU DEVOUR YOUR ENEMY, YOU GAIN HIS STRENGTH.
OK, I GOT DIBS ON HIS FACE.
PERFECT.
SAY CHEESE.
[groans]
WHY DIDN'T YOU KILL HIM, YOU IDIOT?
I CAN'T.
THERE'S JUST SOMETHING ABOUT HIM.
HE'S TOO... TOO CUTE AND CUDDLY AND CHERUBIC AND LOVABLE.
YOU KILL HIM.
OK, YOU PATHETIC, SNIVELING, LITTLE BABY, AFRAID TO KILL SOMEONE WUSS.
BUT YOU KEEP HIM BUSY WHILE I SNEAK UP FROM BEHIND,
BECAUSE AS WE PASSED BY, I GOT A GOOD LOOK AT THOSE 7 INCH FANGS OF HIS.
OK. WHAT I'LL DO LARRY IS, I'LL SPROUT WINGS LIKE CUPID
AND I'LL HOVER ABOVE HIM. GIVE ME A SECOND.
[grunting]
LARRY, I CAN'T GET MY WINGS OUT.
IT MUST BE TOO MUCH CHOLESTEROL.
JUST COVER HIM.
OK, FREEZE.
DROP IT RIGHT THERE.
DROP WHAT? THIS PACK OF GUM?
COME ON, DAD, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TO?
THAT'S OBVIOUSLY A LITTLE BOX CONTAINING A MINIATURE WALRUS,
WHICH, WHEN RELEASED, WILL RUN UNDERNEATH MY CLOTHING
AND BITE ME IN MY SECRET PARTS.
WHAT DID YOU DO, CHRIS?
EAT SOME BERRIES THAT GAVE YOU HOMICIDAL DELUSIONS?
YOU NEVER FAIL TO ANNOY ME, BOY.
DON'T CALL ME "BOY."
YOU'RE GORGEOUS.
JEEZ, I LEAVE YOU GUYS OUT HERE FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS
AND IT TURNS INTO LORD OF THE FLIES.
YOU'RE THE LOVELIEST CREATURE I'VE EVER SEEN.
I'VE BEEN PREDICTING THIS FOR YEARS.
GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME.
JUST ONE KISS?
LARRY, LARRY, GET AWAY FROM HIM.
YOU'RE DELUSIONAL.
CAN'T YOU SEE? HE'S NOT A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.
HE'S A... HE'S A SICK, BLOODTHIRSTY, HOMICIDAL, 4-HEADED AIR CONDITIONER.
SLAY HIM. COME ON.
I'M NOT GONNA TANGLE WITH HER, SHE'S OBVIOUSLY P.M.S.
ALL RIGHT, THEN I WILL.
(Larry) NO.
(Chris) OH.
ALWAYS WHEN YOU DO IT, I GET SO...
[grunting]
I THINK MY BLOOD SUGAR'S SUDDENLY TAKEN A NOSEDIVE.
HOW ABOUT YOURS?
[birds chirping]
CHRIS, WHERE ARE WE?
I DON'T KNOW. THE PROM?
DID OUR DATES BEAT US UP?
OH.
WE WERE LOST IN THE WOODS, REMEMBER?
LOOK, FOOD.
OH, YEAH.
KIND OF LOOKS LIKE LEFTOVERS, THOUGH, AND I'M NOT HUNGRY.
ME, EITHER.
WE PROBABLY ALREADY ATE IT. I WONDER WHAT IT WAS?
[sighing] I DON'T KNOW.
WAIT, I... I'M STARTING TO REMEMBER NOW.
NOW WE WERE HUNTING A... A MONSTER
THAT... THAT LOOKED AN AWFUL LOT LIKE MY...
OH, MY GOD. LARRY, WE ATE MY DADDY.
I DON'T THINK SO, CHRIS. THIS SMELLS LIKE PORK.
WELL... NO, THAT MAKES PERFECT SENSE.
MY DAD LOVED PORK.
BY THE TIME HE HIT 60, HE WAS PROBABLY 90 PERCENT PORK.
OH, DAMN.
THIS IS HORRIBLE.
JEEZ.
ACTUALLY IT KIND OF SMELLS SORT OF GOOD,
MAYBE I'LL JUST HAVE A LITTLE PIECE JUST TO SEE WHAT IT TASTES.
IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU BABIES WOKE UP.
OH, YOU'RE ALIVE, YOU'RE ALIVE.
OH, PAPA, I'VE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU.
GET AWAY FROM ME. YOU'RE STILL SKUNKY.
WHERE DID THIS FOOD COME FROM, MR. PETERSON?
I KILLED A WILD BOAR AND SHOVED IT DOWN YOUR THROATS
WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING.
WOW, WELL THEN, YOU... YOU... YOU SAVED OUR USELESS LIVES.
WELL, I FIGURED AS LONG AS YOUR MOTHER'S ALIVE,
I DIDN'T WANT ANYTHING TO HAPPEN TO YOU.
NOW LET'S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, OK?
SO SOON?
SOON? THE WEEKEND'S OVER.
YOU JERKS HAVE BEEN ASLEEP FOR 15 HOURS.
OOH, JEEZ, WELL.
THEN I GUESS WE WANT TO CHECK OUT BEFORE NOON
SO WE'RE NOT CHARGED FOR ANOTHER NIGHT. COME ON, LARRY.
MAY I CARRY YOUR BACKPACK, HONEY?
HEY, LARRY. DON'T COME ON TO MY DAD.
JEEZ. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE THAT.
DON'T LAUGH AT MY PANTS.
ALL RIGHT, SHUT UP. HERE, GOOSIE, GOOSIE. GOOSIE!
[barking]
I COULD HAVE LEFT THEM OUT HERE.
NO ONE WOULD HAVE KNOWN.